I'm Glad There Are Cookies

When I'm stressed, I eat. Something gets hard? I'm all- where are the cookies? The wine? Need them..like now.

Unfortunately, I have indulged in both this evening. I'll let you in on a dirty secret about me...

While I love having the opportunity to stay at home with our boys, I don't love every single moment of my day. I get so incredibly jealous of J who gets to leave the walls of this house dressed in actual clothes, interact with other adults, and go on lunches and run other errands that he needs to do kid-free. I can't tell you how much that makes me jealous. Of course, there's another side to that argument, but you can spare me. I already know it. I've heard it...and I get it. 

The thing is, I have very very little time to myself. Moms, you know the drill. I don't get to shower in peace. Forget going to the bathroom without a toddler running in yelling "pee pee" and flushing before I can even stand up. Sorry for the visual. The point is that I'm an introvert and I crave alone time. As much as I want these cookies that are in my kitchen, that's also my desire to just be alone FOR THE LOVE.

I get so discouraged. I'm trying to change my life by eating healthier and exercising. Some days, I feel great, but others days (like today) I completely derail my progress by stress eating. I also didn't get to workout or run for as long as I would have liked. The babes' naps only coincided for about 20 minutes so I didn't get a long workout there. Then in the evening I went for a run with both of them in the stroller, but after two miles they were ready to quit. I suppose I could be attempting another workout right now, but after the night I just had, it's a miracle I'm not curled up in the fetal position! I'd love to shower, but I'm desperately afraid of waking one of them up after they both took turns crying for over an hour.

I'm complaining too much. I don't mean to. I have a great life. But for when I do get discouraged, I'm glad there are cookies.

(P.S. Here's the 20 minute workout I did. I was surprised at how it smoked me in such a short amount of time!)

Source: fitnessmagazine.com via Mrs. on Pinterest

Five Months

Dearest A,

 You'll forgive me, won't you? I let a month go by without writing. Your fourth month went by so quickly and you are now five whole months old. Every parent says it, but you truly are growing so fast. You continue to be the sweetest baby boy! You love looking at your older brother and laughing at the silly things he does to entertain you. Your favorite way to be held is the "adventure position" so that you can see everything that is going on. Sometimes I wear you to the grocery store or K's gym class or to the park and you are completely content. You'll fall right asleep if you so please and it scares me every time because K certainly never did anything like that. I always think something is wrong!

Nursing is going well, but you are getting wiggly. You kick and squirm and smile and coo. It's unbelievably precious. YOU are unbelievably precious. We still haven't started you on solids either. Maybe I'm a slacker, but I just can't decide if I want to go the Baby Lead Weaning route or if I should break out the Baby Bullet again like I did with your brother. You are thriving very well on mama's milk for now so I'm not too worried. I'll decide soon.

You are still sleeping by our bed at night. You're a pretty good little sleeper! You recently started sleeping twelve straight hours and it has been amazing. The last few days, however, you've been waking a lot more thanks to a yucky cold. I hate to see you sick. Still, you're pretty smiley throughout the day and still a joy to be around. I love you so much, Baby A. I can't imagine our family without your sweet cheeks and cute little smile. Keep on keepin' on.

Love,
Mama

I need a few minutes

I'm done. The semester is over and I'm hoping to start breathing at a steady pace again. I have been incredibly stressed trying to balance motherhood, grad school and changing my lifestyle to a healthier one.

Yesterday was Mother's Day. The boys are sick so we couldn't go to church. J and I both had a whole host of busy work due for our graduate programs and there was only time for wiping snotty noses and perusing through research articles, pretending to read and understand them while small children scream neediness in our ears. While everyone was posting photos with their own mothers or children, we were doing the doggy paddle just trying to stay above water. Yesterday wasn't fun. I kept thinking, "All I want is to go out by myself for a few minutes" but that's a pipe dream these days. I feel bad for even admitting I need time to myself.

The day wasn't all bad, though. In between toddler tantrums and baby coughing fits, there was my husband who was trying to make the best of my second Mother's Day. He gave me a card, cleaned the kitchen, asked me to go take a nap (which of course is impossible here), and then later fixed me a delicious meal.

I'm lucky to have him.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Cray K wants a "badeeta" (banana) and I have to get this house in working order again. I'm glad to be back to blogging.

Love,

This Friday

If I didn't have five million warmers already, I'd get this one:

How cute is that! Wouldn't it be a sweet gift to your dear mother? Or sister? Or best(est) friend?

Anyway, how are you all this fine Friday? I'll tell you what- I've got the cabin fever. This rain is trying to destroy my goal of:

 It has been raining forever. Ok, just nonstop for a few days, but it feels like an eternity. My sanity comes from going on a run in the morning with the boys in the stroller and then letting Cray K get some energy out as we relax outside. This isn't an option this week (or weekend). We're all at the point of just staring at each other and whining a lot. Anyway, as you can see I'm attempting to log in one hundred miles this month. Yesterday, I ran in the rain sans children and I felt like a beast. I have done 6 miles total thus far. My legs hurt so good.

We've been doing well, though...

Before all the rain started, we had a play date and one of the ladies there was snapping photos of all the young'uns. She got some cute ones of my Cray K-

He is quite the handful. He is talking more and more which is most welcome. Next, I hope that "no" will become only 30% (or less) of his vocabulary instead of 98.99%, but who's complaining? He also (very occasionally) says please ("pease?") and then I give him whatever his little heart desires because he is just so darn cute. This child is spoiled rotten. We might need re-enforcements.

Yes, life is good this Friday. What's going on in your world?

Florida Livin'

I guess I'm a blog-once-a-week kind of blogger these days. I mean to write more, but you know the story--I'm busy. Tonight, though, I'm throwing caution to the wind and diving into my personal stories rather than churning out some more pages for my research paper due this week. I do need some me time, ya know? Lately, my me time was coming from working out but I suppose I'm taking today off. I planned on getting my burn on tonight, but ice cream sounds better. It's definitely a Monday.

Life has been rolling right along here in our house. There are ups and there are downs, but I'm trying to keep my head up, above the water so I can remember these days when my children are grown. Everyone tells me the baby years are a blur to them now and so I'm trying to hold on to these two cuties I've been blessed with while I can.

Still, I live for the weekends when I can catch a break and have Daddy home to help with the wrangling. The past two have been good ones...

One consisted of a date night that very possibly is one of my favorite nights ever. Captain J's parents were in town and offered to watch the little ones while we gallivanted off to dinner. We couldn't resist Ruth Chris Steakhouse even though I'm sure there are so many unique restaurants we could have chosen instead. This decision was not regretted. We ordered ahi tuna for an appetizer and then steak, of course, for our main meals. If you haven't gone there, you're missing out. I drank wine, flirted with my husband, and had conversations that weren't centered around two small children. It was divine! We then purchased some vino at the liquor store, along with two tumblers and headed toward the beach to enjoy them. We cheersed to our new life in Florida and ended up kissing on the beach like a brand new, crazy in love couple.

It was perfection.

The lingering memory of this date seemed completely absurd a week later as I made my way to Orlando to meet my husband who was there on business. Our plan was to hang out in the city for a day and then head to Sarasota for the remainder of the weekend. As I was saying, I could barely recall this warm lovely feeling the date left with me when I set off with both kids in tow, wailing all along the way. I was so stressed to hear my poor almost five month old screaming his precious little head off for most of the 2.5 hour trip.

Yes, the weekend did not start well, but like any vacation, there were some high points. I'll just let the photos speak for themselves.

What can I say? God has been good to me. I have a beautiful, sweet, crazy family. He has provided for us in so many ways. He has given us good health and I'm finally starting to grab hold of that lifestyle again. I'm feeling good about myself. I mean, I worked out on vacation. Who am I?!

And as you can see in my fitness selfie, I ventured out in a two piece and no one ran screaming. In fact, someone told Captain J that it was hard to believe I was only four months postpartum. She said, "Woo! Mama looks good doesn't she, Daddy?" Who can have a bad week after that?

(Want to follow along with me on my fitness journey? Check me out on Instagram- profile name is KSJD22. I post a lot of my workouts there and you can search through various hashtags I've mentioned on this blog such as #WallSitMonth and #PlankChallenge. )

Addicted

There's simply no time for this little blog anymore. I wake up, grab some coffee, and the bible and read it with my husband until he leaves for work. Before I know it, the babes are up and at 'em and my day flies by with diapers, sippy cups, and very little sanity. If the boys happen to nap at the same time (which is rare), I am exercising or working on my graduate degree. By the time J walks through the door from work, I've got my running shoes on and I'm ready to go because I'm addicted. The high I get from running now is the best. It feels so good to be back at it and pushing my body (and mind) in ways that I haven't since 2008! I'm slowly but surely getting back into running. It's my me time and I really don't want to spend it any other way.

I'm surely driving my IG followers nuts with #mrskgetsfit posts, but I can't care. I sign in to see the progress so many people are making in their own lives and it inspires me to do the same. Since I've started documenting my workouts more, I've received so many messages telling me that I encourage them on their weight loss/fitness journey. I'll keep on posting for them...and for me.

My diet (and I use that term very loosely) has not been going well. I can easily clean up my diet throughout the week, but when the weekend rolls around, I completely derail everything I did throughout the week. This past weekend, J's parents arrived with cookies, biscotti, and pie and all bets were off. I just can't give up sweets.

I'm down to:

Weight: 125

and feeling pretty good about it. I would still like to lose about five more lbs. I'm not dwelling on the number, though. The goal is to feel good in my own skin.

Speaking of the weekend, we had a great one! I'll try to get around to telling you all about it sometime soon. These next two weeks will be crazy busy as I finish up two huge projects for the class I'm in, but I'll come back and share when time permits. Thanks to all who check in here with us! We're doin' good.

P.S. I found my favorite place to run-

XOXO,

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High Five For Friday!

(I'm way behind in responding to comments, but I'm working on it! I appreciate each of you who leave me sweet words to read. The way I usually respond is via email so please make sure you aren't a "no reply blogger". )

It's another Friday and I've basically been MIA around here. Spring is busy! Here's a quick recap of our week:

1/We had lots of park time this week! Cray K gets some wild and crazy time and Mama gets in an extra workout. Win, win!

2/Captain J was caught outside in his sweatshirt in pants in 79 degree weather. He said, "That breeze gets me!" I fear we have acclimated. Florida is so so nice.

3/Baby A has been cranky all week. Very clingy. Yesterday, we got out- just the two of us- and suddenly my happy baby returned. It was a sweet time.

4/I made pancakes for the first time ever. I used bananas, blueberries, and an egg. Healthy and delicious.

5/Exercising is going well. I am up to a 3 minute wall sit. Ouch! 

Did you have a good week?

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